Monday, September 13, 2010

Be Still My Heart

T he subject line here refers to one of the side effects of a rather unfortunate bout I've been having with a new medication. Sometimes I am really slow on the uptake. Here I thought it was my hunky husband Dov making my heart race like that. Nyuk. It's a good thing I wised up and phoned the doc.

It's all I can do to slug through my day what with the weird effects of the meds, but I am committed to writing something ANYTHING in this blog on most days. So here goes:

Today, I'm doing some advance prep work for Asher's birthday party, to be held after school tomorrow. My baby is turning 10. It's a bit difficult coming to terms with this idea. My identity, for so many years was as a mother of infants, toddlers, and small children.

Entering this new phase is exciting in some ways. The freedom is breathtaking. I can come and go when I like, without any special advance planning. At last, I have the freedom to explore my own talents outside of kuche and kinder.

Don't get me wrong: I have a knack for kuche and kinder in a big way. I'm a natural. I love kids and I'm a foodie. I'm even a laundry freak, though I suck at sewing.

But now I can take on a real job and run with it. I can write and generate an audience. I can act and sing in the local theater troupe. I can indulge my tendency for political activism. I can bring my full attention to my prayers. I can take the time to stop and run my hand through a lavender plant. Wow. Life is filled with promise.

All those years of mothering infants, I'd look at my babies and wonder what they would become as they grew to maturity. But my own mother must have done the same. Now, at this late date, I can show her what I will become. As my children stretch their wings and grow, so at last, can I.


  1. I like the hunky husband part.....but, then....( didn't know my hair was like lavender)You will gain much by this new challenge. 10 years old is still our "baby" so we can still hug and kiss him. It's still fun being parents of young children, and making (spending on) birthday parties is still special.

  2. "That's a mighty big plant you've got there Mrs. Epstein."

  3. There are advantages and disadvantages to our kids growing older. But birthday parties should always be fun!

  4. B'hatzlacha Varda on any and all new endeavors! I hope you get settled with the medication issues and that you feel great. Love your post. It is amazing to watch the youngsters spread their wings and how it gives us the chance to do the same. Yasher Koach!