The Dog is in the Courtyard

““Ha’kelev ba’chatzer!” said the small child in his stroller, the night breeze refreshing the couple and their child after the hot August day. The child pointed toward a ceramic figurine in a neighbor’s front yard garden. “The dog is in the courtyard.”

The father, not really paying attention, offered what he thought was the appropriate gentle correction, “HaMelech ba’sadeh—the King is in the field.”

The King is in the field is an expression in heavy use during the month of Elul, a time of Jewish repentance, when the King (Hashem), is said to be accessible to all, even to the farmer in the field. He comes to us, wherever we are; ready to listen to what we have to say for ourselves.

The child in the stroller, desperate now to make his point, since his parents were in the process of wheeling him past the object in question, repeated his words, this time with more force, “Ha’kelev ba’chatzer!”

Once again the father reinforced the child’s impression that nobody was listening, “Ken—yes. HaMelech ba’sadeh—the King is in the field.”

It all happened in a matter of moments. My sedentary job writing for Kars for Kids had begun to affect my weight. I’d just come out for an evening power walk as part of a new resolution to get some exercise, get back in shape. They, the couple with the child, were passing my home.

This was a couple of days ago. And as trivial as it may seem, I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind. This brief interaction, this small parenting “fail” seemed to me symbolic of something much larger.

It’s this: if man is created in the image of God and God stands ready to listen to us in Elul, even coming out to meet us on our own terms then what of this father? He was preoccupied with repentance, as he should be at this time of year, but did his behavior reflect that of a receptive and listening King?

He hadn’t met his child on the child’s own terms. He hadn’t allowed his eyes to follow the trajectory of his son’s pointing finger. If he had, he would surely have seen the lawn sculpture that looked to his child like nothing so much as a dog in a courtyard. This father failed to put himself in his son’s place, to see things from his child’s perspective and so failed the listening test.

Since I passed that couple and their child, I’ve been watchful. I’ve noted many cases where people are talking yet not listening to each other. Not really.

Like the woman who tried to tell me lashon hara (a category of prohibited speech). “It’s not lashon hara,” she said. “Three rabbis told me it’s not.”

But it was and I didn’t want to hear it. Still, she remained oblivious to me and my concerns.

Like the woman who left a comment on a facebook posting that sounded to me like dibat haaretz, a prohibited form of tale-bearing against the Holy Land meant to leave a negative impression. I removed her comment and used the standard Facebook message form to tell her what I found objectionable.

“That’s not dibat haaretz,” she said, citing her husband’s opinion on the matter as authoritative.

But it was. I didn’t want to read that or have my friends read it either. Yet she remained defensive, not allowing for my concerns.

Once more it happened, just today. I was tagged on a post I found objectionable. I “untagged” myself. I politely explained that I don’t post articles that slander Jews or Israel.

Necessary Slander??

The tagger tried to convince me that the post was not slander. Then he tried to convince me it was necessary slander to correct a greater ill. The more I tried to demur, the more forcefully he argued his point.

It began to fall into place for me, how being receptive to others is crucial to the act of repentance. When we don’t listen, we’re being stubborn. We’re demanding that things go our way. We’re not letting go and moving forward. We’re stubbornly holding on to our (sinful) status quo.

I am guilty, too—as guilty as anyone else. There are times I could shoot myself for saying something I know I shouldn’t, even as the words come out my mouth. There are times I pretend I don’t see a person’s body language telling me to STOP RIGHT NOW—I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THIS.

In the not listening, in not seeing things as they really are, we are as stuck as stuck can be. We stay where we are, stuck in our own vanity, and in our own human failings. We remain in stasis.

The King is in the field, but it’s up to us to meet Him and to be receptive to the lessons that are all around us: that come at us from our fellow human beings. We’re each of us as fallible as the next. But if we’ll just listen with all we’ve got, we may get somewhere.

We may just meet the King.

Sharing the Light

emember the biblical story of the 12 spies who were sent by Moses to check out the Land of Israel in advance of the Israelites? The spies returned and reported that the land, "devoured its inhabitants," had huge walled-off cities, and was inhabited by giants who made normal people seem as grasshoppers.

As a result of their report, the spies and their offspring were punished. They and their offspring were banned from entering the Holy Land.The spies had been sent to see the land and return with an honest report. That is just what they did. So on what basis did they merit such harsh punishment? If they had lied, would they have been feted, congratulated, and otherwise patted on the backs for telling falsehoods?

It's a strange story on the face of things, but only if you don't stretch your brain enough to grok the bigger picture. A thinking person, for instance, would scratch his/her head and think: "Well, okay. So what COULD the spies have said instead that would not have earned them such a severe reprisal for themselves and their offspring?"

Step back for a moment and think about it: you and your family have been wandering in the desert for a very LONG time and you are finally almost at your destination ("Are we there yet, MO-OM?") but someone goes ahead of your party to see what's what and comes back with a pretty dire report. (The water in the hotel bathroom is tepid and brown, the food is greasy, there's nothing to do, the natives are hostile, and the linens don't seem very clean.) You would look at your kids and your spouse, take a swallow, and feel a sense of deep and utter despair. You would lose your will to continue, to soldier on toward your goal. And yet, did the Israelites have some sort of choice? Could they return to Egypt and slavery? Did they have an alternative destination?

Since they did not and we know they did not have an alternative destination, why would Moses send the spies in the first place? What was the purpose of that little "check it out ahead of time" trip to Israel by the spies? Were the spies damned if they did and damned if they didn't?

Did you figure it out? Of course you did. You're a smart person and I pinch your cheek with affection. MWAH! 

The purpose of the spies was to provide a sort of travelogue for the Israelites. Like those magazines that tempt readers with descriptions of faraway exotic places. Those magazines beckon to you when you pass a newsstand on your way to the office, make you daydream about your next vacation, and squirrel away your dollars toward realizing those dreams. The magazines keep you going as you sit in your cubicle doing scut work, giving you something to hope for: something beyond the cube.

You trust those travel magazines with the glossy pictures of white sand beaches and vistas of blue water that stretch across an endless distance. You trust them because you know that the financial well-being of the magazine depends upon the dependability of the travel information it disseminates. The magazine would not steer you wrong.




The spies could have spoken of the amazing varieties of fruit they found in Israel which were larger and more succulent than any other fruits they had ever seen. They could have spoken about the way the inhabitants feared and honored the spies in equal measure. There were so many wondrous things they could have said about the Holy Land.


But no. They said sucky nasty stuff that scared the Israelites and made them terrified to come into the land.

THAT is why the spies were punished. Not because they told the truth. But because there were good, true, HOLY things to say about Israel, but they chose to say negative things that would have a negative impact on the people they were meant to cheer and encourage.The spies' evil report did harm to their souls and those of the people who heard what they said.


Why am I telling you all this today--especially since the Torah portion recounting the story of the spies will not be read until June 16th of this year (2012)? I'll tell you why. You knew I would, didn't you?

Don't expect me to give you a balanced picture of life in Israel. I won't do it just to be intellectually honest. I won't say things that cast the land I love in a negative light. I won't talk about domestic issues if they will tend to make Israel not look so terrific. I won't do it because I love Israel with all my heart and there are too many good things, wondrous things to say than to hurt my soul by pointing out any supposed negatives. I won't give fuel to the naysayers. I won't align myself with them.


I could spend all day and night praising Israel and not run out of things to say. And that is my preference. Israel is meant to be a light unto the nations. To me, that means sharing the light and not the dark side of Israel. It means stressing the beauty and holiness of the land instead of reporting on grimy events or infighting and criminal acts by its inhabitants.

That is NOT to say that I won't speak out against evil. But it does mean that I will anguish over a way to express myself without tarnishing the reputation of the love of my life, Israel, even a single iota.

Does it still seem that I am speaking in tongues? So be it. Some would like me to disavow certain activities of certain people in my country. They say that by my silence I am complicit. But those people would do well to read Iggeres HaGra, a letter the Gaon (genius) of Vilna, Rabbi Eliyahu Kremer, (zatzal)* wrote to encourage and instruct his family in 1778 during his aborted journey to the Holy Land.

"...the main way to merit the World to Come is by guarding one's tongue. That is worth more than all the Torah and good deeds. This is the meaning of (Isaiah 32:9) "tranquil women" (Berachos 17a), because the mouth is the holiest of the holy."



*Zatzal is an acronym for "Zecher Tzaddik l'Vracha" which means that "The Righteous One Should be Remembered as a Blessing"